A Forced Transformation

After my father was killed, I was forced to go through an involuntary transformation.  One thing happened that made my life come to a screeching halt and flip- no summersault, all at once.  I mean, the world went all topsy-turvy… All of a sudden, I’m a victim of gun violence. All of a sudden, I had two parents and now I’ve only got one parent.  It’s like someone snatched away my old eyes away and I was forced to look at the world with new eyes that I was not used to… eyes that didn’t fit and that I didn’t understand.  It wasn’t fair.  Aside from the obvious grief, it’s funny how the little things were the hardest to cope with. Like realizing that for all of the remaining special events in my life, my father won’t be there.  Or how movies and rap songs that talk about guns & killing suddenly weren’t so entertaining anymore…

Have you ever had to go through an involuntary transformation?  Maybe the death of a close loved one or being diagnosed with an illness or going through a divorce.  How did you handle it?  I want to offer a blessing to anyone who has ever had to go through a forced transformation after their world was turned completely upside down by something devastating.  ALL of your feelings are valid as you relearn how to navigate your life. Remember that while everything feels like it’s been flipped upside down, there is comfort in identifying some things that are still true and still stable for now.  For me, it is true that I still have one parent left who loves me a lot. It is true that I still have the opportunity to make my dad proud of me even though he isn’t here anymore.  Most importantly, it is true that my Dad would want me and my mom to be happy.

Dress: Eloquii

Clutch:  Paula Vera at TJMAXX

Earrings:  Kitsch

Shoes:  Steve Madden

Lippie:  Cherry Blossom by Coloured Raine

Photography:  ShellyCStudio

What about you?  What are some of your truths that you’ve had to realize after an involuntary transformation?